tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8063891120391562620.post3196749683516076005..comments2009-11-11T22:13:15.005-08:00Comments on Naomi: Not Quite There: Something old, something new.Naomihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17414535853509744385noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8063891120391562620.post-10812514550210463682008-09-17T19:15:00.000-07:002008-09-17T19:15:00.000-07:00I think in the growing complexity of the world tha...I think in the growing complexity of the world that our solace is found in the little things. It isn't realistic for most to be a monk, but being monk-like for minutes here and there may be feasible.Therapeutic Ramblingshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12781452874259470378noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8063891120391562620.post-55988339542931917562008-09-15T14:15:00.000-07:002008-09-15T14:15:00.000-07:00This is, as always, In My Personal, Often Rambling...This is, as always, In My Personal, Often Rambling Opinion, Which You Should Feel Free to Ignore (And Possibly Should) --<BR/>This is the #1 worst thing about being single: I feel that much more pressured by the whims of society.<BR/><BR/>I've thought pretty much the same thing you did about monks/nuns: at least from the outside looking in, they make me think, "How nice it must be to be so dedicated to one thing and not feel like you're being pulled in so many different directions by so many different forces. They found ONE force and they went with it" and its given them a long term stability I can only wish for. That must be nice. Well, you know, it looks a lot more boring than I'd like but bully for them for finding something they can focus on and find happiness in, even if it's not the typical thing society tells people to do.<BR/><BR/>Trying to rationalize how I want to live life versus how society wants me to live life is a constant battle. I find myself trying to take careful mental inventory. "Do I really want to take a trip to Europe to see the sights, or am I just feeling pressured to do it because these days you can't be cool if you haven't been to Europe?" I feel like I can better find happiness if I can at least recognize and sort out the external influences. (Otherwise I end up sitting at a rainy bus stop in Europe thinking, "Whose idea was this, anyway? I could be at home on my couch right this very moment, but nooooo...")<BR/><BR/>After my previous relationship went bust, I slowly began to recognize how much it meant to simply be able to count on the acceptance of one other human being. It's a lot easier to tell the world to "sod off" when you have someone you can kind of lean over to and whisper out of the corner of your mouth, "<I>Er, right?</I>" and then they whisper back, out of the corner of their mouth, "<I>Right!</I>" That's a real stabilizing force.<BR/><BR/>Lacking that, I have concluded that the best bet is to be myself and try to ignore the pressures of society, at least the ones that don't directly impact my ability to enjoy life (e.g., I can ignore the pressure to head down to D.C. to get drunk but I will let society pressure me about, say, going to work on time, whether I like it or not, since it's in my long-term best interest.)<BR/><BR/>My advice (if you can call it that) is to examine which things on your schedule lead to things you want and which things are simply there because of outside pressure. I don't think life is meant to be fast-paced and high-stress. Some things (school/work) we put up with because we have to or because it will lead to greater long term happiness but maybe some things can be shed, to free up time and relieve the stress.<BR/><BR/>Just a thought.Northern Paladinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05922808140841371278noreply@blogger.com