Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Mixed signs ahead.

I try my hardest not to let my insecurities shine through, but when you like a guy and suddenly his behavior does a total one-eighty, I have no idea what to think. It’s always easiest to say “is it me?”, even when you know it isn’t. I’m so pissed because I really let myself like him. As much as I want to be this strong, “independent” woman, I’m still a big pile of vulnerable goo.


Monday, September 28, 2009

Craft Corner - table for one.

I've fallen in love with my glue gun. It's true. That beautiful, simple device has both burned and healed me more times that I care to recount. In light of a recent "breakup", I've been bitten by the retail therapy bug, but I've been fighting off the urge to indulge. We're in a recession, after all (hehe).

I really, REALLY wish I knew how to sew. Deconstruction and reconstruction of clothing has been an interest of mine for such a long time, but without a sewing machine it's extremely time consuming, labor intensive, and demands a lot of undivided attention. "If only I had the time and energy to spare" - I find that I've said that so often over the last few years. Lately, life has shown me that we need to make time for the little things that make us happy. It's difficult, but I'm truly pushing for the first time in what feels like ages. Finally pushing for one small thing that I want. I hoping beyond hope that this is the beginning of a pattern for me.

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Grit and Grime

Summer somehow brings on thoughts of change and improvement. Maybe it's the fact that I'm out of school and have significant amounts of free time (when I'm not slaving away in retail hell), but the idea of sitting idle annoys me to no end.

In this round, change is manifesting itself in the massive eradication of household goods. That's right. Decades worth of things representing a life we've been building are being boxed up and sent into storage. It's strange to see it go. I've gotten so used to seeing the weird knick-knacks on the shelf in the dining room, though I can't remember when or why we got them. And that hot dog toaster that's been collecting dust in the cabinet in the kitchen. The things that have been there just because they can be. Yeah. Shipped out to be combed through at a later date. Seeing all this space open up reminds me of days when we had first moved into the house. Laying on the floor in the middle of my room on the plush pink carpet, daydreaming of what furniture and I could put in there. Now if only we could do something about that pesky, too-small-for-my-fabulousness closet...

On the fangirl side of life, Twilight fandom is kicking up again. Well, not that it's ever really calmed down, but I'm getting more anxious to see New Moon. I pretty much got all my friends at work into the series (Movies, that is. For some reason these chicks don't want to give the books a chance! So lazy...) and even though we're all planning on jumping the company ship, we still want to go see it as a group. I didn't go to the Twilight midnight premier, but if I have a larger group to go with this time I might brave the hormonally charged adolescent crowds at snag some seats.

Now that AMA ( is over, I'm excited about attending Nekocon. I'm pretty much Nerdzilla at work, but I can't help it. When convention season comes around I let my quirky tendencies and flightful fancies run amuck and just "nerd out" for the weekend. It's a neat little vacation from the everyday tedium that's slowly, but surely, killing us all. Lighten up! Live. Laugh. Love. And give/get more free hugs!

(After a long absence, I'm resolved to try to find my way back to journaling/blogging. I've really forgotten its therapeutic benefits.)