Monday, October 20, 2008

Just keep swimmin'.

Honestly, this must be a personal record for me.

I don't think I've ever been through so many ups and down in a single month. October kicked off to a promising start. The temperatures were cooling down, there was a certain crispness in the air - it finally felt like fall. Somewhere in that first week things suddenly got derailed.

My best friend's father lost a three year battle with lung cancer. I knew she would be deeply affected by the loss, but I had no idea just how much she would change. She's turned me into her punching bag, and at first I stood there and tried to weather her torrential mood swings with her, but she's taken it too far. We work at the same store, but rarely are we scheduled for the same shift. There was one such occasion when he happened to work together, and I delighted in the theory of it all. Me + best friend (working together...same shift) = extremely fun times.

Oh, how wrong I was.

She dogged the hell out of me. At work. In front of our colleagues and regulars. In my humble opinion, she crossed a line. I understand mourning, but there is a fine line between being a good friend to you and being a fool. J, you clearly need time to yourself, and even if YOU don't need it, I do.

Rough waters ahead, so as I started crossing things off my many lists, hopefully I can sort out my thoughts and feelings. I miss writing, miss reading (i.e. playing voyeur to the lives of others), and I


Northern Paladin said...

Misdirected feelings... you should try to bring it up with her (in private)...preferably before she reads your blog. This is the real test of friendship, surely: to attempt to be a friend even when she's taking things out on you (probably because, as a friend, there's a perception that you can take it better than, say, unleashing on a stranger).

Definitely work in some you time as well, though. I think people overlook the valuable service to the community that can be had by simply getting some time to ourselves. Going to school can make us more knowledgeable, going out can make us more sociable, going to work can get us the money we need to do everything else, but I think it's the me time that gives us a chance to assemble it all and become a better person.

Brent said...

wow. this situation truly is a test of friendship. if she doesn't realize what she's doing... i don't know what would be best: to tell her, or let her realize it on her own. good luck